All serious relationship comes with stress and it’s a fact of life that most of us already knew, but how much is way too much? Sometimes a relationship can teeter between being incredibly toxic and being the most fulfilling aspect of our lives, and it’s important to recognize the signs of progress and whether things will get better or not.
Recognizing these signs can be difficult at best to darn near impossible at worst, but these tips will help you to navigate the bad times and determine for yourself whether the relationship is worth it in the long run.
Remember, Life is Short
Facing your own mortality is something philosophers have talked about for centuries, and unfortunately few of us think about this enough. Life is fragile, fickle, and not guaranteed for anybody, and if your significant other doesn’t significantly increase the quality of your life, then the relationship you’re in is not worth the hassle. You do not owe your significant other anything just for being there for you, that’s what humans do for each other. If you find yourself shedding more tears than sharing laughs, being angry with your partner more than you’re proud of them, or spending an inordinate amount of time worrying about their loyalty to you, it’s time to move on.
I understand that everybody has special circumstances and that no relationship is the same, but when it comes to spending whatever time you have left committed to a single person, it’s critical that you feel good about your choice. If the person you’re with never apologizes when they make you question your decision, and you hear “whatever” more than “I’m sorry” the relationship is not getting better, and it’s time to seek out other opportunities.
Understand and Talk about your Boundaries
In some relationships, having sex with others is acceptable, in others, it means the end. Where do you stand on the important issues, and how important is your stance? This is a conversation every couple needs to be having, and just because your answers aren’t the same doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong or that you aren’t compatible. What is important, is that you both respect the other person’s boundaries. If you’ve made clear that something is important to you, and your partner continuously goes against that, things aren’t getting better.
Everybody makes a mistake now and then, and just because your partner crosses that line in the sand once, doesn’t mean there’s no hope for the relationship. Forgive your partner for their mistakes, and demand that they forgive you for yours. It’s when these mistakes become a habit that things cross from romance to a bad situation. Respect is paramount to success, and forgiveness is a key aspect of life, but understanding the difference between enabling and forgiving can mean the difference between success and failure.
Questioning your Partner’s Feelings
Even when having an argument, you should never have to question your partner’s feelings towards you. My fiancé and I have very few “rules” in our relationship, but one of the most important ones to both of us is that every fight, no matter how big or small, always ends with “I love you.”
You should never have to question whether your partner still loves you, or wonder when you’ll hear from them again.
A relationship succeeds and fails based solely from communication, and if your significant other cannot communicate with you even when times are tough, the relationship will not work. I don’t mean to imply that if they storm out of a room that they’re not the one, but if they consistently refuse to talk about the things that bother you or if they’re unwilling to put effort into making sure you know how they feel, then you should leave that person to their own devices.
You are important, your feelings are valid, and you deserve to be treated fairly.
If your partner still shows you these things even when tough times arise, they’re worth it in the long run.
As I’ve said, every relationship is unique and sometimes special guidance is needed to handle a difficult situation. If you’re still feeling lost about what to do after reading through these tips, check out one of our love psychics
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