When we meet somebody that we are pulled in to, we don’t generally listen to our ‘internal voice.’ Too frequently we run with our heart, rather than our head. When we don’t listen to our inward direction and decline to be persistent, we have a tendency to get hurt.
Women prefer men who say what they mean. Today’s women are independent and we want someone who brings out the best in us. We want a gentleman, a best friend. Yes, we want romance and respect, but most of all we want honesty and trust. For without it we have nothing. Some men never speak their minds or reveal the truth.
There are also the men who come on too strong, always calling, always texting, making you feel that he can’t live without you and everything seems so almost too good to be true. Then one day, he is gone, missing in action, retreated into his cave. I always tell women that when this happens to let it be. Don’t contact him! The reason he is in his cave is because he is trying to figure things out or find his own solutions. He needs some time and space for himself. Some will come back, and some will not, but in the meantime you must focus on yourself.
Ladies, you are supposed to always come first, but many women tend to worry instead about what she might have said or done to make him feel that way. We usually blame ourselves, so we go against our own good judgment, and we contact him anyway. Big mistake. The more we go after men, the less they miss us, and they get comfortable, we are not a challenge anymore. They get into a pattern and then it becomes more frustrating for us women, because we are naturally givers. We want to nourish.
To attempt to talk it out it often becomes a push and a pull, which leaves us feeling very sad and lonely. With some men it takes longer than others. Is it worth it? Yes, most of the time if we wait and stay patient and allow them to pursue us, things work in our favor. That is what they really want – to pursue us.
The question is, can we stay patient? That is the tricky part. It is not easy. Some give up, and some do not. Many times the best relationships are the ones that were the toughest in the beginning with regards getting together. For many men there is that part of themselves that they do not want to give up easily. For men it can be daunting to commit. Relationships are challenging. It takes a lot of dedication, focus, time and trust. We are responsible for our own happiness and in doing so our relationship will be more meaningful, more loving, free and fun, and happiness will continue to grow.
My advice for singles is to look within and ask yourself what part of your life do you need to work on. When you clean up your side of the street, you’re making room for a perfectly imperfect person to see you, and love you. Always remember that Mr. Right will not be perfect either, but will be perfect for you, just as you will be imperfect for him or her. Just remember to trust yourself, listen to your inner voice. Stay positive, and breathe.