It’s time to explore some of the most misunderstood basics regarding romantic love. Effectively exposing these five myths in this thought-provoking way could completely change your love life!
- True love just happens.
Cupid has led our hearts to have dreamy expectations. But these expectations are disconnected from reality. The truth is that true love does not just happen. There aren’t any magic love-tipped arrows, and your Prince Charming will not arrive in the package you expect.
True love will come to people who are prepared and ready to receive it.
Are you prepared? Prepared to become vulnerable, to take chances, to truly get to know yourself, to acknowledge your imperfections?
Are you ready? Ready to grow through and with your partner, to compromise, to experience pain, to trust your experience, and to truly let go?
If you’re prepared and ready, you will attract the right relationship—the one that’s truly worth it.
- True love is easy.
Falling in love can certainly be easy. An attractive guy enters the room, and your heart skips a beat. You get excited, you blush, and everything feels practically magical. Everybody experiences this, because the falling in love is easy. It’s the rising in love that’s the real deal. It’s difficult, and it involves hard work.
If the painful interludes in your dating past and in your long-term relationship are challenging you to grow and to lift you to a better place, then the pain is good. You’re refashioning yourself into a better, more compassionate, more loving, new being.
It’s not as easy as falling in love. The pain is worth it, because real love changes people. Rising in love is not supposed to hurt deeply. And if you discover that your relationship is going in circles with no evidence of change or growth, it may be time for you to reconsider things.
- True love is always a 50/50 balance.
Wouldn’t it be great to have a gauge that could measure how many units of love that hearts could produce? You could pull it out on a first date, scan the guy’s heart, and not waste your precious time on a low reading!
Unfortunately, though, there’s no way to really know the depths of someone else’s heart. We will either feel enough love, or we won’t. And to further complicate things, this can change over time. The solution is to understand that true love isn’t always a 50/50 balance. It may be when things are going well, but it probably won’t be during rough patches.
And note that keeping score doesn’t benefit anybody. If you feel like your partner is consciously holding back from receiving or giving love, the best course of action for you to take is to calmly and openly talk about it. Forget about 50/50 and balance. Love needs to flow freely.
- True love is all you need.
Even in clichés and fairy tales, true love isn’t all that the the characters need. The plots have struggles in them. There are evil villains, poisonous apples, and dragons to slay. There’s real work to do!
This is also true in real life. No, there won’t be dragons! But before a happy ending, challenges will need to be faced, experiences will need to be lived, and the lovers will have to be satisfied with the way they handled the work involved. Both lovers must be willing to change and to grow.
As renowned psychologist M. Scott Peck explained in his book “The Road Less Traveled,” true love is not a feeling. “Love is the will to extend one’s self for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another’s spiritual growth…Love is as love does. Love is an act of will—namely, both an intention and an action. Will also implies choice. We do not have to love. We choose to love.”
In other words, merely having feelings of love won’t be enough. Are both you and your partner willing and ready to extend yourselves through action and intention? How you answer this question will help you discern if you have the possibility of a future together.
- True love guarantees compatibility.
You are unique. You have your own quirks, ambitions, qualities, and yes, things that you should work on. Your partner does, too. In the long run, feelings of love are not enough to sustain a healthy committed relationship between the two of you. Compatibility is the spark that keeps love burning. Without it, love will fade.
Do you like to watch movies but he needs to parachute off an airplane to feel alive? Do you have a chihuahua while he longs for a pit bull? Does he have a stable desk job while you prefer traveling the world?
You see the point. What exactly does “living” mean to each of you? Do you long for the same things in life? Love is not blind. True love will see when things are not destined to work out. True love will ultimately lead you do what will be right for you.