Do you feel unhappy when you should? Do you feel like losing even if you’re being blessed than others? Do you often find that you’re your own worst enemy? Do you build things up in your head to the point that reality has no hope of catching up to the fantasy that you’ve created in your mind? It’s time you stopped setting yourself up for chronic disappointment and instead adjust to living life with healthy expectations.

While expectations can be healthy, you must make sure that your expectations are in line with reality. Otherwise, you risk setting the bar so high that you may get discouraged and not reach success. Remember, there is nothing wrong with setting yourself up for success in several manageable steps. It might be less dramatic, but your chances of achievement and satisfaction will be greater.

Every area of your life from relationships to your career can benefit from a check of your expectations, especially if you find yourself continually disappointed by the people in your life and the outcomes of your choices.

Expectation Check #1: Focusing on Outcome

Many times our goals are set on a fixed outcome, such as running a race, getting a promotion or getting married. While that can help cross the finish line of your first 5K, that tunnel vision may blind you to the true nature of relationships or opportunities that you encounter.

Be sure that you keep outcome-based expectations to a minimum when you are entering a new relationship. If you are committed to the outcome of marriage and family, you may miss critical red flags that could warn you that he or she isn’t the one!

Expectation Check #2: Focusing on Others

You are responsible for your own happiness, and so you need to release your expectations regarding the behavior of other people. Don’t hold the people in your life to your personal expectations. Not everyone will have the same goals and priorities of you. It’s your job to focus on the actions that you can take to achieve your goals. Take your focus off others and put it on yourself and the aspects of your life that you can control.

Expectation Check #3: Focusing on “Should”

Are you working towards a goal because you feel pressured that it is something that you “should do” or “should want”? It’s one thing to go after a target because it makes sense for your life and the direction that you want to go, but you need to let go of expectations placed on you by others.

If you pursue a goal because of outside pressure to do it or want it, you may be disappointed when you achieve the desired outcome. Instead, focus on living your life authentically, even if it means that you miss out on experiences that others think you “should” experience.

Setting goals and having expectations can help you live a life with purpose. However, if you let your expectations grow wild, you will be setting yourself up for a life of disappointment. Don’t forget to check your expectations and live the life that best suits you.