Most people have been in a relationship that people on both sides want to keep low-key. This can be a crush, or it can be someone that is just finding out if you are compatible. You might realize that this person is someone that you would like to be with but you aren’t sure what is going to happen yet and so you stay low-key.
Maybe you are excited about what could happen and then out of nowhere they tell you that they enjoy spending time with you, but they want to keep the relationship low-key for a while. What does this even mean for you? Does this mean that they want to keep you a secret?
What Does a Low-Key Relationship Mean?
A low-key relationship is found if you both want that. This means that you are taking your time getting to know each other and that you are not rushing into things. This doesn’t mean that you are ready to date just each other or declare your undying love for them just yet.
People might see you together in public but not on a regular basis. You may hang out with the same friends, but you aren’t to a place where you are introducing them to your family or friends yet.
Some relationships are exclusive that are low-key and sometimes the relationship is open to other people. This is when there needs to be some kind of conversation about what is going on. Being in a low-key relationship can sometimes get confused with you being kept a secret.
Secret Relationships
A secret relationship is when you are dating and one of the partners want to not let anyone know about your relationship. They want to keep it hidden from the world and so they don’t take you out on public dates and they don’t like or tag each other on social media.
This relationship is just secret, and it isn’t a real relationship. If one person wants this and the other one doesn’t, this can be confusing and frustrating.
Can Secret Relationships Last?
Secret relationships can start out exciting because it can be like a book or a movie. These kinds of relationships though end up leading to fear and sometimes even cheating from one person.
A low-key relationship can be a good thing if you are both wanting to keep things quiet for a while. These can be exciting, and they can be a relationship that has no labels yet but that you are working to see if you like each other.
A secret relationship is never going to work out and this is when one person hides the relationship from the outside world.
Why Have a Secret Relationship?
If you don’t want to be in a secret relationship, then you are better to be single than to be with someone that is hiding you. Here are some reasons people keep their relationships hidden:
- He/She is a Cheater
Being with someone that is a cheater is one reason that some relationships stay secret. People that cheat will want to keep you with them and for them when it works for them, but they won’t want anyone else to know about it.
When no one knows that you exist, they can’t come and tell you the things that they see your partner doing when you aren’t around.
- With Their Ex
Sometimes a person will want to keep the relationship a secret because they are still seeing their ex. They aren’t quite over them yet and they wonder if things will end up being able to work out.
- They Have No Sense
You are likely a closet lover with this person, and they have no sense on how they are making you feel. This is a bad relationship, and you need to move forward.
- They Are Married
If someone gives you the thought that you are a secret, you need to find out if they are married. Maybe they won’t answer you after they get home from work or maybe they seem to go out of town often. This can be a bad sign.
- They Don’t Really Like You
You might be excited to be in this relationship but if they are keeping you a secret, the truth is that they don’t have real feelings for you. You will end up hurt in this relationship.
- They Fell in Love with Someone Close to You
Maybe you are the ex of someone that they like and so they are trying to get with them while being with you. This will never work out.
- They Didn’t Want to Love Someone
Sometimes a person will fall in love with someone, and they don’t want to be in love, or they have a family that doesn’t want them to date anyone. This can be hard for everyone.
Why Keep Any Relationship Secret?
There might be some good reasons to keep a relationship secret and here are some reasons that it might be acceptable:
- Co-worker
If this person is your co-worker and you fall in love with them, you might not want to bring this to the attention of everyone else at the workplace. Make sure that the relationship is strong and that you are going to go past casual dating before you ever reveal these feelings you have for each other.
- Recent Breakup
Breaking up with someone can be hurtful for everyone involved. If your partner has just broken up with someone and they are afraid of really hurting them, they might be keeping you a secret. Or, maybe they are just using you as a rebound and they know that you will realize this if they are more about you.
How to Keep Your Relationship Secret
If you decide to keep your relationship secret, here is how:
- Stay Off Social Media
You need to not like the persons post or post anything that you have done. Make sure to keep your inside jokes to yourself. Pay attention to how many times you like their posts and how many times they like yours.
- Don’t Keep it a Secret
If you really like someone, stop keeping them a secret and go out and have fun together.
- Be Truthful
Be honest with each other about what kind of relationship that you want. If you both want to keep it a secret or if you are okay with that, then so be it. If you aren’t, move on.
Dealing with a Secret Relationship
When you are sure that your partner is keeping you hidden, you need to go ahead and step out of the relationship. Talk to them about what you want and if they aren’t willing to give you that, then it is time to move on.
If someone wants to spend time with you then you can do that if that’s what you want but if you want something serious then you need to find someone that is going to want the same thing with you.
When Should Your Relationship Be Revealed?
If you are in a low-key relationship, there are no real time limits as when the relationship should be known and revealed. People move through relationships at different speeds. If you have talked to your partner and you both are ready to move forward in the relationship, then they should be willing to show you off.
If you want this and your partner doesn’t then you need to decide what you want in the future. If you don’t want this kind of relationship, then you need to move forward and not stay in it. You don’t have to be with someone that doesn’t want to show you off.
You do need to make sure that you are moving towards making the relationship revealed. If that isn’t happening and your partner isn’t giving you any hope that it will, it can be time to find someone else to be in a relationship with.
The only real way that you can know what to do is to communicate with the person you are with. Be open and honest about what you are wanting and if you aren’t getting your needs met, it is time to move on.